


Design Flaws

by Kittyknowsthings



Series: Crowley vs Chairs [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - All Media Types, Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Dining at the Ritz (Good Omens), GFY, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:53:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23576464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittyknowsthings/pseuds/Kittyknowsthings
Summary: Crowley and chairs do not get along - but maybe that isn't quite as terrible as he likes to make it out to be.First in a series of unconnected ficlets in which Crowley falls out of chairs
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Crowley vs Chairs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1697098
Comments: 36
Kudos: 207





	Design Flaws

**Author's Note:**

  * For [charlottemadison](https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlottemadison/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Shotgun Wedding: sometimes a first date requires paperwork](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22557148) by [charlottemadison](https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlottemadison/pseuds/charlottemadison). 



> Thanks, as ever, to Noriann/MilleVisages for cheerreading =)

The problem with chairs is that they are barely designed to actually work with the basic humanoid spinal apparatus. 

To be fair, the human spine is barely designed to work with itself, and a clear sign that corporation design had some issues with keeping all departments up to date on design changes. 

Whatever Crowley's demonic serpentine essence has done to his own spine just exacerbates the issue. 

He has fallen out of chairs ever since chairs had first become a thing and proceeded, despite the above-mentioned design issues, to catch on. 

And while the demon may rant about this topic at length (often when drunk and recently fallen out of a chair) it is more habit than candour, at this point. 

Crowley and chairs just don't get along - It is a fact of life, like gravity, or the way the Angel's smile lights up a room. 

So when Crowley falls off yet another chair at the Ritz, this time after not nearly enough champagne to warrant it, he doesn't miss a beat. 

"Well, while I'm down here already," he says and rearranges his limbs so he is set on one knee, one hand stabilizing him against the table, the other digging in the inner pocket of his jacket. 

"Are you sure, Dearest," Aziraphale begins, and Crowley looks up at him because he can't _not_ look at the Angel when he calls him Dearest; "that you want to be giving a chair, your sworn enemy, credit for the timing of your proposal?"

Crowley looks and looks and looks, helplessly besotted - some lucky light source is illuminating the Aziraphale's hair, making it look even more like a halo, his smile is wide, and his eyes glitter with mirth. 

Aziraphale does have a point, but how can he NOT ask the Angel to marry him when he's being such a delicious bastard? 

On the other hand, was this, perhaps, Aziraphale trying to subtly hint that this was not the time? 

"Might be time to bury the hatchet," Crowley says, testing the waters, his hand still in the pocket, fingers closed around the velvet box.

"A true miracle," Aziraphale deadpans, and that tears it. 

Crowley gets out the ring.

**Author's Note:**

> I attempted to persuade Charlotte to let the proposal scene in Shotgun Wedding go something like this, but since her version was already written (and quite delightful!), I fleshed it out and turned it into a canon ficlet instead.


End file.
